Lord, I know you took my grandma to heaven,

I know it had to be,

I thank you so much for taking her.

Now she’s out of misery.

The dementia was tough to witness,

Even in discomfort, she acted like a queen.

But nothing could quite comfort grandma

Except her eyebrows and a slot machine.

We always heard, “Jesus, George,”

When he wasn’t acting accordingly,

But the love Grandma and Grandpa shared

Showed through, unconditionally.

Being in another country with family was so special.

Family trips were always a delight.

And oh, don’t forget grandma’s favorite,

The extremely long, unbearable flight.

When she told you to do something,

You always did what you were told.

The best way she got me to shut up,

Was to ask me, “what do you think ya are, a lightbulb?”

Thank you for blessing us with

grandma.

We could not have asked for better.

She always had her wit and humor,

Even though she became a forgetter.

She was the matriarch of the family.

We counted on her every holiday to round the troops.

If anyone missed a holiday, we’d never hear the end of it.

Grandma loved us all in one big group.

She never let anything get her down.

She fought to the very end.

She was stubborn and she was strong,

And that I have to commend.

There are parts of her in all of us,

I will never forget the stories told

She set an example for us

Until she was 85 years old.

Grandma was something special.

No one compares to her.

We will always love and remember you grandma,

Of that, I am sure.

— Kylie Cooke

I want to share some adjectives that were said about my mom over the last few days.... 

friendly, warm, amazing, special, wonderful, a bright light, loving, caring, devoted, inspiring, full of laughter, a force, friend, kind, incredible, wonderful mother, welcoming, spunky, vibrant, generous, hospitable... and yes these are all correct and yet she was so much more. A few that I need to add: my confidante, our lioness, loyal, honest, witty, smart and strong willed.

These last few days I look in the mirror and search for qualities... anything that resembles my mom but it’s not in the mirror, my reflection doesn’t look like her but I look down at my hands...I have her hands and I hear the reel in my head, her voice... and she’s in my heart... my beacon of light.

Well, mom, I never imagined a life without you and yet here I am. There was a time in my life when I was like “Mom, you don’t have to call me everyday”... and then It became “Mom, why haven’t you called me?”

I almost called you the other day to ask you what I should wear today.....this is my new normal. Hey, I didn’t wear black because you say it’s too harsh of a color on me. So, I wore your favorite color and convinced some of the others to do the same. That’s one of the many things you instilled in me... no!!!! not manipulation... rather, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Have fun, don’t take life to seriously. 

Mama, look at this room, you left quite a legacy. We are all better off for knowing you and being part of your amazing adventure of a life. Each one of us is shaped by our relationship with you. You’re an extraordinary women, a force to be reckoned with. 

This woman that is described... she is MY mom. I’m the little girl that she raised amongst her 3 rambunctious boys. I was also referred to as “strong willed” as well. My brothers always talk about how I was the little brat that kicked them in the shins while wearing my red cowboy boots but I say to each of you... Who bought the boots? She knew what she was doing. 

She was way ahead of her time in how she raised me, instilling toughness and grit with a splash of style. I never knew that I wasn’t as strong as my brothers or that I couldn’t do the things they did, why hell, I didn’t even wear a bathing suit top until... well I’m not sure. 

The point is, I never felt less than or not as capable because I was the “little” girl. My mom didn’t raise me differently than my brothers... she raised me to compete alongside them, against them and with them BUT with pigtails. She encouraged me to play sports, climb trees and get muddy. I was always made to feel that I was capable of anything and everything.

Mom never pushed me into things, rather she supported ALL of my crazy hobbies and dreams - from my horses to bodybuilding and everything in between. She was my biggest cheerleader in every aspect of my life. This was the women that would travel all over to watch me compete on my horse. She was my tireless buddy, making sure she was available to assist when needed. 

She would help groom and even hold my horse at times... and all the while she was terrified ....I NEVER knew this, she never let me know that she was deathly afraid of horses. All that time...she squashed her fears to share in my dreams, just so she could spend time... making memories with me.

Making memories, having fun and being with family was the essence of who my mother was. Although, the order of importance would be in reverse. Family, ALL of you, always came first for my mom. Every holiday, bbq or gathering was a big deal to her. If she was hosting, she would make sure that it was perfect and if you were hosting she would make sure it was perfect. My mom would make an event out of preparing for an event.... that was the beauty of who she was. 

She wanted our family to always be together, in everything we did. If there was ever discord amongst us siblings she would call one, then the other, and then back again until peace and harmony was restored. “Rise above” she would tell us. And “life is too short” was her way of saying “get over yourself”.

I could go on and on about my mom but I don’t want to leave this room without saying a few things I know Grandma would want me to say. She loved you grandkids more than life itself. She was so proud of each and every one of you. She was so invested in everything all of you did and just overflowed with joy in sharing in life with you. Grandma alway had great advice and she would tell all of you “the sky is the limit” and “to achieve on your own merit”, Never give up! she would say and my personal favorite...no bar is set too high! She is always and forever in your corner, your personal cheerleader. 

All five of you have a common characteristic and that is your strong will. This is our common thread, the “thing” that is threaded from her through us and into you. You have a rockstar of an angel rooting for you and whatever it is you want to accomplish.

Being the daughter of such an incredible women is daunting at times. I will never fill her shoes but I most definitely will carry out her wishes. I promised to keep our family intact and to watch over dad. Sorry dad, I promised mama I would get after you time and again. Strong willed, I am my mothers daughter.

On a personal note, Mom thank you for this incredible journey, thank you for choosing dad and thank you for having me pass the boards... I know it was you because theres no way I passed... Godspeed mama! We love you dearly!!!!

— Debora Nagy

How do I say thank you to the woman who gave me everything,

who gave me life?

I am extremely fortunate to be her son, one of her four children. 

The best tribute is to acknowledge the deep and trusted influence she has made on me. My mother is my north star. Like the wise men needed a guide for direction and purpose traveling the desert to Jerusalem, so do I. We children are joyful and full of pride that she is part of our character and in our hearts. 

We all know she could be fierce especially when it came to us, her children. That trait is best recognized by her legendary hammer throw. A neighbor’s dog was attacking our dog on our front lawn. Out of the garage, our mother came running. On the move and from a distance she threw a ballpen hammer. It struck the attacking dog square. The dog ran. Our family dog was saved. Mom picked up the hammer and guided our dog back to its yard. She performed the same feat with some of the people I choose to befriend growing up – metaphorically, of course. She was a sharp study of people.

Mom loved her projects. She refinished furniture late night in the garage. Her fingers would be stained from the work for days. Much of that furniture is still with us in our homes. One of my favorites is the player piano she refinished. The project seemed so big and so complex to me, I wondered how she knew what to do. When it was finished, she bought the Beatles “Hey Jude” as one of the rolls to be played. I sat at that piano pumping my legs as hard as I could for as long as I could to evoke a response from her.  In my small way that was my congratulations to her for reaching for a goal and successfully accomplishing something extraordinary and out of the blue. It was a risk of high order, a concept I couldn’t yet grasp. She built stained glass windows worthy of an old-world chapel. She designed her home from the concrete foundation to the final piece of furniture. Her attention to detail could be magnificent. Her follow through remarkable. I believe this love, attention, and detail went into her greatest project of all, her family. My dad remarked on her passing, “She sure loved you children.”

Mom loved her animals too. In her later years, she would often say how troubling and difficult it would be to have a dog but still loved those that came into her home. Throughout her life animals became not just companions but friends. When I arrived home from grade school, I would always seek her out. Often, I found her tending to plants and our animals out back. If not weeding, watering, accompanied first by our by our family sheep then the family goat, both appropriately named maa maa. Those days are forever filled with golden sun, whispering breezes and peace. Knowing she was near always provided me deep comfort. Then there is the silly lovebird that performed tricks for her on the counter. The bird flipped a plastic egg shell on its head and dance and sing. And also scruffy, her most trusted companion – inseparable while they were together. They both shared a deep seated fear of thunder and lightning. 

Mom was very conscious of her appearance. She always dressed and carried herself well. After surgery a few years back Ken related that while still under the influence of anesthesia, she called him over to the bedside and whispered, “Are my eyebrows on?” When we were children, we traveled by motorhome to Canada. While waiting to be ferried across to Victoria Island, my mother let her guard down and let us children do her make up. We did her eyebrows, lips and cheeks. We did terrible. She looked at herself in the mirror and couldn’t stop laughing. When mom let her guard down – which was not often – she was joyful and full of merriment and laughter. Looking back that trip, that one evening waiting for the ferry, may have been the only time in her life she did not look her best.

Mom had a tradition of waking us children with her morning songs. Its hard not to think the house was too quiet and lonely with us sleeping on the weekends. I like to think she looked forward to the weekends with us home, the noise and energy of four children. Another part of me thinks she didn’t want us to miss any opportunity that the day may bring. I tried to look up the songs and found that her lyrics and tunes were mostly hers. There may have been a hint of Shirley Temple, Judy Garland and Debbie Reynolds but the songs were hers. 

Mom was steadfast and traditional. She was simple yet complex. She had an iron-will and read people well. Our mother raised us children with pride and moral purpose. When purpose failed and a heavier approach was called for, she would reach for her broom and chase us with a new purpose of knocking sense into us. 

I like to think I have some of her ferocity, her ability to read people, the ability to take a risk and see it through, a desire to always have a project, a love of the world around us and of song, and some facility with decorum and having fun. 

My mother, this day and always, will shine brightly illuminating everything I am with the white light of her personality, my north star. I love you mom.

I end with my mother speaking to us through the age-old classic, from Winnie the Pooh:

“If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together,
There is something you must always remember, You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think,
But the most important thing is, even if we are apart, I'll always be with you."

— Steve Cooke

Mom, you lived life well and had a life well lived.

Many of us may weep and grieve our loss, but I don’t think Mom would want it that way.  

John 16:20,22

Truly, truly, I say to you, that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; you will grieve, but your grief will be turned into joy.

Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.

A couple of years ago, Debora reminded me Mom was never baptized.  That started a wonderful journey with Mom.  Mom wasn’t comfortable with religion or church, or with me talking with her about it.  But we had several conversations about what baptism meant and if she wanted to be baptized.  She was hesitant.  Then one day, God moved mountains, and she said “yes . . . I can accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior.”  She was baptized by Pastor Bill with her family on December 17, 2018.  I know where Mom is today!!!

Deuteronomy 33:27

 “The eternal God is a dwelling place, And underneath are the everlasting arms;

Mom was never idle.  She always jumped in when anyone needed help or support.  She always encouraged us to excel and succeed. 

I will forever be grateful for her love and support.  One event for me stands out.  I had stayed up all night finishing my college thesis.  It was due at noon.  I was not finished and was in a panic.  I needed a B+ to graduate.  Mom came in that morning and asked how she could help.  Can you type for me?  She typed as I recited and we got it done in the nick of time.  We got a B+ and I graduated.

Thanks, Mom!!!  

Proverbs 31:25-31

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

— Brad Cooke

On behalf of my family, I thank you for being here as we  remember and celebrate my Mom, Sallie Cooke.  

I will cover the basic facts of her life and capture a bit of who she  was, her significant life moments and who she was to me. For someone  who lead a rich and fulfilling life there is much to tell and I may miss  some of those events or may remember them differently. I do want to  invite everyone to check out her Memorial Page my nephew Taylor  built – and share your memories pictures and stories with us.  

Sallie Cooke was born October 14, 1935 in Los Angeles to Helen  and Douglas Chambers. 

She passed from this world on Monday October 26, 2020 – at the age of 85 at home, in her bed, holding her husband’s hand. 

PERFECT PEACEFUL PRIVATE and DIGNIFIED. 

She never liked to be the center of attention. She knew we were  all coming home later that evening. So She chose the perfect moment  to pass. We all arrived shortly after and were there for each other and  Dad. 

Growing up in the 40’s and 50’s she was a mischievous fun loving  girl – often getting she and her sister into some kind of trouble while  their mother napped.  

I recall her stories of when she and Shirley found a  

workman’s hidden bottle of vodka in the alley and dumped it out and  replaced it with water.. the worker chased them down and almost  caught them… 

Or when she snuck thru the neighbors window to liberate a  glass bottle full of coins… and of course having been caught she had to  return them that evening and fess up to her conduct.

In high school she was very active and outgoing – she was even a  cheerleader. She referred to herself as a Sosh… meaning she was good  at making friends.  

As a young woman, while working at a movie theater, she went  on a date with a promising, persistent and handsome young man. He  really wanted to impress her so he told her to order anything she  wanted. In her wonderful naivete, she ordered the Porter House Steak  and ATE the whole thing only to learn later that it was a meal meant for  two.  

I say her appetite impressed Dad so much, they got MARRIED on  April 7, 1956. If I do the math correctly, that’s 64 years of marriage.  

Early on while Dad was in the Navy they lived for a time in San  Diego. Mom worked as a Dental Hygienist and this is where she started  her interest in investments – getting stock tips from the Dentist.  

They also lived in Hawaii for a spell with her Mom, Helen and  younger sister Sharon. It’s here that she developed her fear of thunder  and lightning having endured some terrible tropical thunder storms.  Mom was very happy when they got transferred back to California. 

They spent the 1960’s creating this family. As I understand it,  they went to Vegas at least 4 times that decade. – You do the math.  

Those weekends to Vegas also began Moms love affair with  gambling. She loved those slot machines. She played right up to when  Covid hit. She has bought a lot of lightbulbs for those Casinos over the  years.  

Growing up, Mom was always involved with our school and  activites. She was active in the PTA, 4H, highland riders, cub scouts,  brownies, girl scouts, and Charity League. She took my brothers to  Cotillion so they could learn etiquette and dance a fox trot. 

She was always driving us around to our events. –carpools, little league, pop warner, horse shows, tennis lessons, and fairs. We  walked to our piano lessons.  

And she made Dad drive on our vacations. Well she still drove from  the back seat often yelling “ Jesus George” when she perceived an error  or close call. Besides managing all of us, She also had a passion for  antiques and often dragged us kids with her as she went ANTIQUING.  Those were so boring for us, but she had a great and those pieces still  decorate her homes.  

When we were all finally out of the house, she expanded her  investment passion into real estate and landed a deal where she was  able to design and build her ultimate project, her own TAJ MaSALLIE.  That’s what Dad’s crew called it when they were working on it. Her  home is truly and expression of who she was:  

STYLISH, GRAND, OPEN, FRIENDLY, COMFORTABLE yet  ELEGANT 

Throughout the years she supported and assisted numerous  charities and organizations in her community … 

a. The Childrens Museum in La Habra 

b. Childrens Hospital Orange County (CHOC) 

c. The Boys and Girls Club of La Habra  

d. The La Habra Hts Improvement Association and 

e. Republican Women’s Club 

Mom was an avid tennis player for many years, which is a good  thing because she hated skiing. I may have contributed to that when I  took her down a hill in Snowmass that was a bit too steep – I think it  was called naked lady – and she took off her skis and boot scooted  down the hill. Not to end any day on a sour note, she Met John Denver  in the lodge.. so there’s that. 

Her passion and love of her children was strong and her love of  her grand children was even stronger. It’s a safe bet to say she  attended and supported anything her grand kids did from dance and  music recitals and holiday shows, to their sporting events, concerts and  graduations. She was there rooting cheering and celebrating her  grand children.  

Mom was adept at making memories. She was adventurous and  loved travelling. She and my Dad travelled all around the world having  the most incredible experiences… usually involving amazing food and of  course wine. They often travelled with a group of friends. But most  times, she travelled with her family. While the destinations were  fantastic, it’s the memories, the laughter and recounting the stories  that she loved the most.  

Mom loved her friends too. Once a Sosh, always a Sosh.. She is  famous for always being on the phone with her card file in front of her.  We had to get a second line in the 70’s just so the rest of us could make  calls. She faithfully attended almost every High School Reunion,  including one just last year. She’s also been meeting with her friends  for lunch every week for the last 14 years right up to just a few weeks  ago.  

I spent the last several years being her companion, pal and  caregiver. I got to return the favor and drive her around everywhere.  We went gambling, we went out to lunch, saw movies, and drove out  to see the desert flowers blooming. We always had one or two others  join us as often as we could… Thank you Shirley for going with us so  often.  

Mom always kept a positive attitude and laughed a lot. In the  last few years, she may not have been able to recall what we did 5  minutes ago, but she was always present in the moment with you. And  she could always tell if it was a good day or not and happily, most were  good days. 

One night a couple weeks ago, after one of her birthday  celebrations, as I was sitting with her on her bed…  

I asked if she could feel the love and appreciation her family had  for her? She nodded, yes.  

I thanked her for all she taught us and given us; told her that  we’ve all turned out pretty good and isn’t it great to see her family and  grand kids all grown up; doing well; and taking care of the ones they  love.  

She grabbed my hand and told me, “Take care of the ones you love,  that’s the most important thing.”  

Mom, you did!!! Thank you.

— Ken Cooke